Having just the one Star Wars film on this list, and for it to specifically be episode 3, might seem a tad random, but it’s only because it’s the only film I hadn’t seen. I thought it was about time I corrected that.
My memory of episodes 1 and 2 was pretty vague. I watched a pirated copy of episode 1 in a bar in Corfu, so it’s probably not surprising that my memory of that was hazy! Episode 2 I watched at the cinema, though my only memory of it was of Yoda being a badass.
I didn’t have high expectations of episode 3, as I knew the first 3 episodes weren’t anywhere near as good as the original trilogy or the more recent films, but I still figured it’d be cool to finally get to see Anakin become Darth Vader. Which it kinda was (ignoring the incredibly hammy ‘Nooooooooooo’ moment soon after). But generally it was pretty mediocre and not that exciting. The CGI hasn’t dated well either, as some parts are so clearly fake it’s actually funny, which isn’t really what you want. Plus, oh my god, where are all the women?? There’s one brief moment where you think Padme might actually get to do something interesting, but she mostly just gets strangled. Awesome.
Here are the thoughts I had whilst watching it:
- There’s just something about that music kicking in and the words ‘Star Wars’ appearing. It’s weirdly emotional.
- They’re frightfully English in space
- Ooh, the special effects are slightly dated and somewhat obvious
- Oh no, the special effects are actually comical in places. That’s going to be distracting.
- C3PO’s so shiny
- No one needs to look that glamorous whilst they’re sleeping
- Yoda’s going to hang out with Wookies? I’m here for that.
- Was he just playing with a Game Gear?
- Ha ha ha, is he trying to be stealthy whilst riding a massive lizard?
- That escalated quickly
- OMG, I thought that was a hologram dildo. You shouldn’t dress in those hooded cloaks, dude!
- Cockney Jedi children?
- Hurrah, a woman’s finally going to do something in this film. I didn’t think that was going to happen at all.
- Oh, never mind, she didn’t really do much
- It’s pretty cool seeing the mask go on
- Ha ha ha, that was a bit overly camp